Recovery
by Applehappy
Summary: When Hatori took away Kana's memories, they were not buried very deep. What if, after a tragic event in her life, Kana's lost memories began to come back?
1. Chapter One

Authors note: I do NOT own Fruits Basket in any way, shape or form, so please do not sue!

**Chapter One:**

It had been a week since her husband had left her. _I thought we were happy!_ Kana thought miserably as she stared out of her window. Outside the snowflakes were dancing, but Kana was not dancing with them. She had fallen in love with him but somewhere down their short road of marriage, it had all fallen apart. She had tried to make him happy but it wasn't enough. _I don't want to think of him anymore!_ Kana focused her attention to the display outside. "When the snow melts, it becomes spring," she said quietly to herself. It was reassuring somehow and Kana smiled. "Spring…" Then, without warning an image of a man with dark hair and a serious face burst into her mind. _Hatori!_

Kana began to pace nervously. Why was she thinking of him now? Why was she so on edge for thinking of him? Kana had once been in love with Hatori, but her feelings had not been returned and she'd moved on. _I haven't thought of Hatori since I met my husband…well, my soon to be ex-husband…oh my! _Kana jumped as the phone rang shrilly. She raced to answer it, vainly thinking for a second that it was her husband. _Or Hatori._ It was her mother.

"Hello, Mom,"

"Kana, darling. I was just calling to see how you were. Are you holding up alright?"

"Oh that was sweet of you! I'm doing better for today…at least."

"Dearest, I do so wish that you would come home. I hate thinking of you all by yourself. You need to be with family and with people who love you. Please just think about it."

Kana glanced around her empty, cold apartment.

"You're right Mom. I think that will do me good. I'll take the train home as soon as I can. I would love to talk more but I'm very tired."

"Yes…get some rest. I look forward to seeing you honey. I love you very much."

"I love you too, Mom. See you soon. Goodnight."

Kana hung up and slowly got ready for bed. She collapsed onto the big empty bed from sheer emotional exhaustion and fell asleep. A dream began to take over…

She was standing in a large warm room with Hatori, meeting him for the first time. She noticed how handsome he was and blushed. The picture changed and she was sitting in a coffee shop with him, heads bent together. She was talking with him and laughing. Next thing she saw, they were in his house. They were leaning towards each other, eyes closed. They kissed, and Kana felt her heart race. She went to put her arms around him. A sudden flash of light and sound. Then…

Kana sat upright in bed, her heart pounding. "It was just a dream," she told herself. _But why that dream? Why Hatori? Why now? Those things I saw, they felt so real, I felt so happy. Oh…I'm being stupid. I'm just feeling lonely, that's all._

But it wasn't. Something was nagging at her…trying to break out. Something at the back of her mind. Or her heart.


	2. Chapter Two

Author's Note: I still DO NOT own Fruits Basket. I did use some quotes but they can be recognized in bold italic.

**Chapter Two:**

Kana stepped off the train with a splitting headache. Her eyes squinted in the piercing sun as she searched for her mother. It had been a week since her mother had called. It had also been a week since her first dream of Hatori...but not her last. Every night when she went to sleep, Hatori was there waiting when she closed her eyes. Her dreams were pure romance. They were always talking, laughing, sharing secrets and holding hands. Then she would reach the part where they kissed for the first time and she would wake up. Normally, a dream like that would make a girl positively giddy but not Kana. She always awoke, heartbroken somehow. Not because this had never happened with Hatori and not because of her recently ended marriage. She felt heartbroken because her mind seemed to be trying to tell her something, as if she had forgotten something important and meaningful. _What could it be...?_

"Kana! There you are!"

Kana turned and saw her mother fighting the crowd to reach her. They embraced and Kana felt relaxed for the first time in awhile. Her mother stepped back and gave Kana a good looking over.

"You look tired. And have you lost weight. You look too thin. Kana, I am so glad that you are home. You need someone to take care of you…at least for a little while."

"Yes mom, I'm glad to be home. However, do you think we could talk in the car? I have such a terrible headache and I think that it's due to all of the commotion here at the station."

"Yes, of course! We'll go at once."

Kana's mother grabbed her hand and led her out of the crowd, just as she used to do when Kana was a little girl.

Once back at the house, Kana went to her old room and fell asleep for several hours. The dreams did not come at first but when they did…they were different.

_A hard, cold voice was shouting, but she was too frightened to comprehend the words. Kana was shock. Hatori was on the ground, obviously in pain, holding his eye. She wanted to run to him, to keep him safe but the man, the source of the voice was already there. He stood and pointed at her accusingly. **"Why would I give him to you! If Hatori goes blind, it's your fault. It's your fault. It's all your fault!"**_

Kana woke up screaming, tears streaming down her face. Her mother rushed into the room and threw her arms around her daughter. Kana lay there sobbing for a long time. There was a throbbing at the back of her mind, as if something was fighting to free itself. There was fire in her heart, as if something was breaking.

After Kana had calmed down, she took a long shower to feel better. Once she was clean, she joined her mother in the living room and told her everything about the dreams and her feelings when she woke up afterwards. Her heart still hurt even now, after this most recent nightmare.

"Oh, Kana, I am so sorry about all of this. However, I don't know what to make of this. I wish I could say more but I am lost as to why you are having these dreams. But it clear that you are under a great deal of stress because of them. You know what? Perhaps you should go talk to Hatori about all of this. He is a doctor as well as the source of your dreams. Maybe he can help you. Darling, it is very late. You should try and get some sleep."

Kana nodded and gave her mother a hug goodnight. But long after her mother went to bed, Kana sat there…thinking.

**Hatori's POV (the next day)**

"I dreamed of Kana last night"

Hatori was sitting with Shigure in Hatori's office. He did not know why he had just told him about the dream. However, he also did not know why he had had the dream in the first place. Shigure looked very interested.

"Was it dirty?"

Hatori glared at him. He was not in the mood for Shigure's jokes. The dream had troubled him. Shigure saw that his friend was unhappy.

"I'm sorry. Please, tell me about it if you wish."

"There isn't much to say, it was very brief. I saw her and she looked very troubled. She was crying. Then I woke up. I felt…sad…for the first time in a long time since Kana left."

"Oh dear, I hope it doesn't mean anything. As much as I want to talk about this I am very late for a meeting with my editor and I fear she will do something drastic to herself if I don't show up soon. Do you wish me to cancel?"

"No, go on. I'm fine."

After Shigure left, Hatori lit a cigarette and stared at his slightly hidden picture of Kana. He always told everyone that he moved on and that he and Kana would never happen again. Still, Hatori missed her everyday. There was a knock on the door. Hatori put out his cigarette and turned to greet whoever it was. He gasped as the figure in the doorframe came into better light.

"Kana!"


	3. Chapter Three

Author's note: Still don't own Fruits Basket. I just got Volume 8 today and felt compelled to write! Thanks to everyone for their reviews. Please don't stop. Your comments are what keep me writing!

**Chapter Three:**

Kana walked into the room, looking slightly nervous, but smiling all the same.

"Hello Hatori. It's been a long time hasn't it."

Hatori managed to regain composure.

"Yes, it has. Is there anything I can do for you, Kana?"

"Well…I was hoping to talk to you about something. Oh…I'm not sure why I'm here. You probably won't be able to help but my mother said it couldn't hurt to talk to you and she's right it couldn't hurt and my problem somehow does involve you and…"

"Kana!" Hatori interupted her. She always used to start babbling when she was nervous. _It was part of her charm. I thought it was so cute…I still do. Don't think about those things Hatori! They're all in the past. Just find out what she wants and get her out of here. Yet… part of me doesn't want her to ever leave…NO! I cannot think about that!_

"Hatori? Are you alright? You look distracted."

"No…I'm fine. You said your problem involved me? What is this problem? And I'm sorry to do this but I have meetings and I must ask you to make it short." _Meetings? I have no meetings. I don't want her to make it short. I want to hear her voice…stop it Hatori. You were lucky to have Kana's love once, don't expect it again. It's over._

"Yes, I understand. Well, this problem…it's not a problem really. Just strange dreams I have been having that have been affecting me strangely. They're dreams of…this is a little embarrassing but…dreams of you. Of us…together. But when I wake up…I have these terrible headaches. I also feel, incomplete, like I have forgotten something important. What do you make of it? Oh…I know you have work but perhaps we could meet later and talk? This must seem strange to you but I have been feeling so off lately and if you can help in anyway, I would greatly appreciate it."

"I don't know Kana. I am very busy. And what does your husband think of all of this?"

Kana turned very pink and dropped her head. "I don't have a husband anymore. My marriage ended awhile ago."

_Oh god! She looks devastated! I am a stupid man for bringing it up. I want to put my arms around her…but I can't…I NEVER could. And despite that, she loved me. Oh Kana! Why are you back! Why are you doing this to me!"_

"I'm sorry Kana. That must be very difficult."

"I am surviving. Please…is there sometime I can meet and talk with you. It IS so nice to see you. I would love to catch up."

Hatori sighed. "Very well, I am free tomorrow afternoon. Give me a call around two and we'll make a more formal plan."

"Thank you Hatori! I am so glad I came to see you today! I feel better already. Look! It's snowing! How beautiful! Well…I don't want to keep you from work. I remember how busy it was when I worked for you. Anyway, good-bye! I'll see you tomorrow."

After she left, Hatori sat back down in his chair. He lit another cigarette, thinking of what would happen tomorrow. He smiled slightly…despite all of the heartache, it was wonderful to see her again.

Then suddenly, Hatori sat upright in his chair, his breath short, his eyes wide.

"I hope Akito doesn't find out about this…"


	4. Chapter Four

Author's Note: I don't own Fruits Basket, I just used some quotes (in bold italic.) Hope you like Chapter Four! Please Read and Review.

**Chapter Four (Kana's POV):**

Kana walked home, a slight bounce in her steps. A laugh burst out of her mouth and she twirled around in the falling snow. _I feel better already. Perhaps I can now get some answers. Oh, it was wonderful to see Hatori again. He's still as handsome as ever with those deep, serious eyes. And his voice…I could listen to it for hours!_

Kana stopped short. _What am I saying? I sound as though I'm in love with him. But…I'm not! I haven't been for a long time. He never returned my feelings. I'd moved on, I KNOW I did!_

Kana gasped as her stomach contracted tightly. She rocked back and forth dangerously. Her head pounded and her eyes snapped shut as another nightmare took over. _But…What's happening…I'm not…Wha…_

She fell to the ground with a thud.

_**"Kana and I wish to be married…"**_

"_**It's your fault…!"**_

"_**It would have been better if we'd never met…"**_

**_"Thank you, Kana. It's all right now…"_**

"Kana! Kana wake up. Kana can you hear me?"

Kana opened her eyes with a groan. Her vision focused on Hatori standing over her. Her head still pounded. Her heart was hurting.

"Hatori…? What's happening to me? What's going on?"

"You fell and hit your head. There doesn't look like there's any open wounds. Can you stand up? I'll take you back to my office and take a better look at you."

Kana nodded and gingerly got to her feet. Hatori held her hand to steady her. It felt so warm and safe. Back at his office, Kana sat on the examination table as Hatori shined a light in her eyes.

"Look up, down, right at me, good. There doesn't seem to be any permanent damage. You were lucky. Can you tell me what happened?"

"Well…I…I don't know exactly. My head started to hurt and I fell. I was having one of those dreams. There were images. I heard your voice…I don't know…it's all so hazy now."

Hatori looked away. "How long have you been having these dreams, Kana?"

"Since a little over a week ago."

"And you say they're of me?"

"Yes…of us…we're together…a couple…Hatori! Are you all right!"

Hatori had his hand pressed to his eyes, tears coming down his face.

"Hatori, you're scaring me. What's going on."

Whether it was stress, confusion, fear, or something else entirely, Kana felt tears come to her eyes too. Hatori stepped up to her and gently brushed a hand over her face.

"Kana…you shouldn't have come here. This is dangerous."

"But why! I don't understand, what's happening to me?"

"I can't explain…it would only hurt you if I tried…you should go…"

Hatori was looking deep into her eyes. Though she still didn't understand, it was obvious that his pain was equal to her own. Before he could stop her, Kana jumped off the table and threw her arms around him. There was a flash of light and noise…


	5. Chapter Five

Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long since my last update but I've been kind of out of it. I don't own Fruits Basket! Please read and review and enjoy! (I have some dialogue that is similar to Fruits Basket but it's my own words.)

**Chapter Five:**

Hatori disappeared in her arms and Kana lost her balance and stumbled, confused. The smoke cleared and Kana saw Hatori's clothes on the ground, something moving around underneath them. She tentatively picked up his coat and saw…a tiny seahorse.

"Hatori! Oh…OH NO! What do I do! Water…yes water…or is it seawater? Yes…that's it…or…I DON"T KNOW! Help me!"

Kana ran back and forth, unsure of what to do. Then, she stopped. Her head began to pound but she stayed upright this time. Image after image came flooding back. Everything. She knew now that all of her dreams had at one time been real. They weren't just dreams. She and Hatori had once been in love. She'd known his secret…she hadn't cared. They went to Akito…that was his name. Akito had attacked Hatori and screamed at her. Kana sucked in her breath at the memory of it. She'd fallen ill and…_Hatori_ had erased her memories to save her life. It was all back. All her memories had been recovered and she felt sick. Kana fell to her knees, trying to hold back the tears. There was another pop. Hatori had changed back.

Kana turned to face him and saw that he was…naked, and turned away. She kept her back to him until he had dressed and once again faced him. She swallowed hard, still trying to hold back tears. He stared at her full in the face; his eyes were wary but kind. It was obvious that he understood what had just happened. He had always understood her. She dropped her gaze from shame. What she must have done to him. She had forgotten everything about him by will. She'd moved on…gotten married and left him alone.

"I'm…sorry," Kana said in almost a whisper.

Hatori shook his head. "It wasn't just your choice. It was also mine. You were sick, you were scared and you blamed yourself. I couldn't watch you destroy yourself."

Kana said nothing. It didn't help. She still felt guilty…she _was_ guilty. She looked up at him again. Into his eyes, particularly his left. _Akito did that to him, because of me. It WAS my fault. This never would have happened if…I shouldn't be here. What am I going to do now! Hatori…I…love you! I'm sorry…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry._

Kana stood abruptly.

"I can't be here. I can't…if he finds out. I can't let him hurt you again. I couldn't protect you…I…I…"

She dropped to the floor again, the dam broke and tears streamed down her face.

Hatori's POV 

Hatori went and stood next to the weeping Kana. He wanted to put his arms around her…to hold her…to keep her safe and let her cry. But he couldn't. It was at times like this where he understood why these things were called curses. _They keep you from the ones you love. Kana…I love you._

"This shouldn't have happened. You weren't supposed to remember. I'm sorry Kana. All I wanted was for you to be happy."

She looked up at him. Her face just as it was when he first erased her memories.

"What do I do now, Hatori? What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. You should go home. It's not safe here. Go home and rest."

She nodded but she was crying and shaking so badly, Hatori had to take her arms and pull her up (careful to keep his distance.) He put her in his car and drove her to her mother's house. After he was sure she was all right to be on her own. He drove back to his office. Tears gathered in his eyes. He brushed them away angrily. He parked and started walking.

_What now? Do I erase her memories again? Do I tell Akito? Shigure? ANYONE? Do I send her away? Do I tell her that I still love her? What do I do now?_

Hatori walked by the main house and looked up…Akito was staring out the window. Whether he was staring at Hatori or not, he wasn't sure.


	6. Chapter Six

Author's Note: I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update but my computer has had so many problems. I hope you like Chapter Six! I don't own Fruits Basket.

**Chapter Six (Hatori's POV):**

Hatori paced his office nervously. It had been a week since everything had fallen apart. It had been a week since Kana had gotten her memories back. It had also been a week since they'd last spoken. Hatori didn't even know if she was still here or if she'd left. So many times he'd picked up the phone to call her or gone to his car to go see her but he'd always stopped himself.

_What could I say to her? Do I just erase her memories again? Is that my only answer? But what if she tells someone about the curse; we'd all be in danger. Especially from Akito. What am I supposed to do?_

Hatori stopped pacing as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror hanging on the far wall. His face was tired and pale. His eyes looked strange and his hair was in disarray. He could see his injured eye. Hatori quickly turned away.

_What is wrong with me? This isn't who I am. I'm the calm one. I'm the sensible one. I'm the one Shigure and Ayame run to with their problems. I can NEVER go to them. I'm Hatori, the stupid seahorse…and the problem fixer. Yuki's friends…Momiji's mother…Kana. When did everything become so messed up!_

Hatori also had another worry. Akito. Nearly everyday since that ill-fated encounter with Kana, Hatori had gone to check up on Akito. Akito had said nothing about Kana but he didn't say a word about anything else either. Normally, Akito always had something to say…usually an insult about Tohru. But now…nothing. Hatori felt sure that Akito knew something but the question was…was Akito going to…do something? Hatori threw himself down in a chair and put his face in his hands. There was a sharp knock on the door. Hatori looked up to see Hatsuharu.

"Hey Hatori. Akito wants to see you…right away."

Hatori tried to resume a normal composure as he nodded. But as he followed Haru out the door, he felt very afraid.

_It's over. I have no hope anymore. I'm sorry Kana._

**(Kana's POV)**

Her room loomed in and out of focus as she tossed around on her bed. Kana was too tired to stay awake but every time she closed her eyes she only saw him…Hatori…the love of her life. It was excruciating. Retrieving those memories was almost too much to bear. But it was even worse knowing she'd chosen to forget, she'd chosen to abandon the man she was in love with. Kana frantically tried to think of her husband, recalling his face and holding it in her mind. But it didn't stay. It didn't matter anymore. She rolled over so violently she almost fell of her bed. She'd been in her room ever since Hatori had brought her home…ill. She'd exhausted herself with tears, her head pounded…she was heartsick. Unable to stand it any longer, Kana closed her eyes. She cried the name Hatori into her pillow one last time before losing himself in dreams of him.

**(Hatori's POV)**

Hatori knelt before Akito. Akito was lying on the floor, wrapped in a robe and a blanket. He was staring out the window.

"I suppose you thought I wouldn't find out. I was waiting for you to tell me. I'm very disappointed that you didn't."

His voice sent chills up Hatori's spine. Akito stood and leaned over Hatori, gently stroking his face. Hatori tried not to shudder.

"But I'm not angry with you Hatori. I could never be angry with you."

Akito bent down and put his mouth next to Hatori's ear. His voice was soft, cold and sinister.

"You know what I expect. It's a reasonable demand and I think you'll agree that I have been handling this very well. I've always expected the most from you, Hatori…now take care of it!"


	7. Chapter Seven

Author's Note: Still don't own Fruits Basket….I hope book 9 comes out soon. Please Read and Review!

**Chapter Seven (Hatori's POV):**

Hatori left Akito in a state of shock.

_He knows. How does he know? How did he find out? He wants me to erase he memories again…how can I do that. Can I bring myself to do that? I have to see her. I have to tell her. I don't think that I have any choice. I just hope that she will forgive me._

Hatori drove over to Kana's home. Well, it was her mother's home but it was where she was staying. He approached the door very nervously and, with some hesitation, knocked. A woman who looked like an older version of Kana opened the door and let Hatori in. Kana's mother. Hatori gave a nervous cough before introducing himself.

"Hello, I'm Hatori…I know Kana. May I please speak with her? Is she here?"

"Yes she's here. I know of you, Hatori. Perhaps you can help me. Kana has not been well. I don't know how worried I should be but…she's ill. I can't explain it. I just came home one day, about a week ago, and found her asleep in her bed. But she was crying and her breathing was off. I don't know! But she's sick. I'm scared. You're a doctor aren't you? Can you help her? I'm sorry to spring all of this on you. It must seem strange. I'm just worried. This hasn't been a good time for her, me, or you based off your face. You seem upset, are you alright?"

"Yes…I'm just worried about Kana. I want to help her. Is it alright if I go see her?"

"Of course…just upstairs on the right. Second door."

Hatori walked up the stairs. He could hear Kana's mother pacing one floor below. How found the door and knocked. He heard a slight moan of acknowledgment and entered. The room was rather plain and very hot. Every window seemed to be sealed shut. The bed was in the center of the room. Kana lay on it; her hair sprawled on the pillow. It was damp with sweat and…tears? Kana raised her head slightly and her eyes opened more fully. She rubbed them and sat up. At first, there was a look of ecstasy on her face but it quickly faded to worry.

"Hatori…"

"Hello Kana."

"Is something wrong? Are you okay? Is it Akito?"

Kana broke off into a cough. She shivered and sank more deeply under her blanket. Hatori felt very awkward standing in her room. Even though she was sick, even though he was a doctor, there was only one way to cure her. And Hatori didn't think he had strength enough to do it.

"Yes, Kana. It is Akito. He…he…knows. Somehow he knows that you have gotten your memories back. I don't know how but…he is not happy."

"I'm sorry. Things must be so hard for you right now. I'm so sorry."

Tears sprung to her eyes. Hatori started towards her and stopped.

"Kana…what happened to you?"

"I…don't know. Just…it's like before. But I have to be strong. I'll be okay."

She tried to smile. Hatori dropped his gaze.

"I can't watch you go through this again. I can't watch you die again"

"I'm alright. I'm not dying! Look"

Kana stood up. She wobbled slightly as she walked over to Hatori. She reached for his hand but the second that their fingers touched she fell to the ground clutching her heart. Hatori dropped to his knees and held the back her head to support her. Kana looked up at him. She brushed the hair away from his face and looked into his eyes. She brushed a trembling hand past his injured one and broke into tears.

"This is all my fault. Everything…I promise Hatori, I won't abandon you this time. I'll fight it. I…will"

"You can't. Look at yourself. I can't see you this way. You should never have had to go through this even once Kana. I can't bear it to see you go through it again."

Kana sat up and looked once around the room before turning her sad eyes back on Hatori.

"But what about you, Hatori? This happened to you to."

"I'll be alright."

"Then so will I. We can deal with this together. Perhaps this could be a fresh start for us. We can…"

"No Kana. This isn't a fresh start. This is…a painful recovery. Akito wouldn't let us be together…ever! He's ordered me to erase your memories again."

Kana gasped and shrank away from him as if he were going to do it right then and there.

"But you aren't. You won't. Please…I can't leave you alone again. I love you. Please…don't. You won't erase my memories. Will you? Hatori…"

Hatori looked at her, speechless. Love and pain swept through his entire body, his entire being. Struggling to control his fear, Hatori found his answer…


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Well, this is the last chapter. (I don't own Fruits Basket by the way.) I guess it's a shorter fan fiction but I've had such a blast writing it and I hope you all had fun reading it. Enjoy.

**Chapter Eight (Hatori's POV):**

_Some people can go their whole lives without finding love. Others are lucky enough to at least get it once. I fell in love with Kana and was lucky enough to have her fall in love with me. Even after going through the pain of recovering her memories, she still loved me. But love wasn't enough to protect her. _

_Yes, I erased her memories again. It sounds so cruel when I think about what I did. It feels cruel even though it wasn't against her will. I've always considered myself a rational man but I can't say that I've never imagined a life with her. Even in that last moment in her room, my mind was searching for a way for us to be together. But there was no way, not with the curse._

_I did not erase her memories without her consent. She begged me not to at first. I almost didn't. But in the end, she was able to understand._

"I have to do this Kana."

"No you don't. Please…"

"There is no way for us to be together again. It would be too hard and too painful. Kana…I _do_ love you. This is why I have to do this. You deserve…someone so much better than me. You deserve a life of happiness. And the only way to get that life is to forget about me. We had a beautiful thing, Kana. It will never be lost. But it will hold us back. Those memories will tie us down and give us burden. I do not want that for you. I love you. That is why…you must forget. You must forget me…_for_ me. Will you help me Kana. It hurts me too much to see you punished for my troubles. Help me Kana. Protect me."

"Oh Hatori! I…I don't want to do this...but…I…I...I will. Because I love you and I don't want you to worry about me anymore. I love you. I will help you. At last…I can protect you."

She leaned in and their lips met one last time. Their tears mingled as they reluctantly broke away. Kana closed her eyes…and waited.

"Thank you Kana. Thank you."

Hatori held up his hand…and erased her memories for a second time. On his way out he reassured her mother.

"Kana will be alright."

And he left.

_I do wish that there had been some other way. I do wish that I could have kept her in my life. But I see now…she will live so much more happily without me. My curse was a burden to her too. It was a burden she didn't deserve. I am not sad for it to end this way. Because…I know…Kana loved me. She gave herself to me and this is what I could give to her in return. Kana_ will_ be alright._

_And so will I._


End file.
